Funny English

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ..... And I thought my engolish was bad enough.

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the 'mundan' ceremony of his 10 year old son:
'As I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days..'

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
'As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave..'

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
'As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.'

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
'Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave'

6. An incident of a leave letter:
'I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.'

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
'As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today'

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
'As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.'

9. Covering note: 'I am enclosed herewith...'

10. Another one:
'Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below...'

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
'My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave'.

12. Letter writing:
'I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.'

13. A candidate's job application:
'This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!!) for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.